Sunday, October 30, 2011

Understanding Breakup Psychology - Why your Ex is Acting that Way

By Mika Maddela


One thing people often overlook when it comes to break up psychology is the fact that the process follows a predictable course. If you are trying to understand your own feelings or why your ex is acting up, then read below and this might help you figure things out.

According to break up psychology, there are two emotions felt by couples right after the break up happens. First is the feeling of rejection felt by the dumpee or the person who got dumped by their partner. The dumpee can act out in unusual ways as they find the situation hard to handle. Have you ever tried calling your ex several times a day telling them you love them after you got dumped? If so then you should be perfectly aware of what I'm saying. If you did this then don't feel too bad. It's a very natural reaction to being rejected. I also experienced some of those moments.

The second one refers to the guilt felt by the dumper over their decision of breaking up with their partner. You see, the dumper still feels a sense of guilt for making the dumpee feel rejected. Nobody wants to think of themselves as someone who inflicts pain on other people.

The dumper cannot help feeling guilty about the situation even though they are 100% sure that they want to leave the relationship. This is usually why they try to hide from the dumpee and not contact them back. These contradicting actions in the break up psychology usually causes a neverending cycle between the dumper and the dumpee. The dumpee wants to undo the feeling of being rejected by looking for love and affection. On the other hand, the dumper is trying to avoid guilt by pushing the dumpee away from them. The cycle continues until the dumpee has forced the dumper to push them out of their life for good.

However, this doesn't have to happen exactly. By stopping the usual reaction one has after being rejected, the break up psychology cycle may be stopped by the dumpee. If a person stops contacting their ex and instead uses the No Contact Rule then there's a good chance that they might even come back together again. Hence, I suggest that you can cope better with a break up if you learn to resist the natural course of a break up psychology and avoid those feelings of guilt and rejection.




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